


A Year in Lists

by JiaMekare



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Byleth VS the voices in her head, F/F, Gen, Manuela Rambles, Sassy Sothis, more tags to come as this progresses, most of the black eagles really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JiaMekare/pseuds/JiaMekare
Summary: Byleth likes lists. They keep her organized, keep her focused. Especially when she's been uprooted from the life she knows, and also there's a very rude voice in her head that's keeping a running commentary on everything she does.Or; you can learn a lot about someone from their ephemera.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 15
Kudos: 83





	1. Great Tree Moon (1)

Things to tell Jeralt:

-Company is nearly out of sword oil

-Otis finally beat The Duke in a training fight

-Remind him that payday is next week, not the week after

- ~~ Do we need to plan around Empire Founding Day for travel ~~ no. 

Things to not tell Jeralt

-There is a little voice in my head, and she mocks me. 

It's not the same dream every night, but it's the same dream often enough that Byleth had started to expect it- a dream of war, a dream of expansive battlefields and gigantic golems decimating an all-too-human army. Sometimes it started from atop a pegasus, riding with the knights, and sometimes down with the foot soldiers, sometimes with the generals directing the battle, but it always led to the same place, watching a woman with the height and demeanor of a goddess of war, striding across the battlefield as though her target was the only man on it. She'd had the dream for long enough that she could almost recite along with it, from the foolish soldier calling out for Lady Seiros before getting cut down almost without a thought, to the swordfight between this Seiros and her nemesis, always ending with her stabbing the everloving shit out of him and cradling his sword, speaking to it as though it were a person. Then the dream would flex and shift, in a multicolored whorl, always ending with the vision of a girl- little more than a child, really- in a long purple coat-dress with elaborate embroidery and piles of white ribbon, asleep on a stone throne, and every morning when Byleth woke up, she still had the image of the girl on the back of her eyes. 

Tonight, though, her subconscious seemed to be in a mood to elaborate, because the girl on the throne woke up. She stretched, and blinked very big green eyes the same shade as her hair, and spoke to Byleth. 

"Well now, I haven't seen the likes of you before! Incredibly rude, really, waking someone from their repose. How did you get in here? And who are you, anyway?" She asked, in a high, sleepy voice. 

"I'm the Ashen Demon." Not as a boast, or a threat. A simple statement of fact. 

It did not go over particularly well. "The utter cheek!" the girl exploded. "How dare you attempt to decieve me! You would do well to keep your wit in line, child." She folded her arms and leaned back in her throne. "Now, would you like to try that again?"

Byleth blinked a couple of times before continuing. "I...'m a mortal?" 

Apparently a much more pleasing response- the girl half closed her eyes and nodded. "I see. Then you must have a name of sorts." She held out her hand, imperiously. "Go on." 

Short of waking up, there didn't seem to be a way out of this. "Byleth."

"Huh. Human names are always so strange to the ear, I think. You must possess a day of birth as well?" She asked. 

"20th Horsebow Moon. Possibly 19th. Jeralt's always been fuzzy on dates." 

"Huh! One would think that the birth of one's own child would be a date that one would try and stay familiar with. Nevertheless, My date of birth was the 20th of the Horsebow moon as well, so we may have the same birthday, or if not then very close. Intriguing, how those sort of coincidences come about! It all feels so..." Sothis broke her sentence with a protracted yawn. "...Familiar. It seems like it may be time for another nap. It is almost... time to begin." She finished by slinging her legs over the arm of the throne and dozing off, and that, Byleth thought as she awoke, must be that. Were that it was so simple though. 

The world of dreams seemed to be bleeding into the world of reality, because after weeks of dreaming of the girl with miles of green hair and a very strange outfit, Byleth had started to hear her voice in the real world. 

It had started small, almost imperceptible. A scoff when Otis tried to claim that since they'd beaten The Duke, it was only a matter of weeks before he'd be able to beat the captains little girl in a fight. A worried hum during training, when a swing went a little too wide and pulled her shoulder with it, which had been more embarrassing than painful. Most insulting had been what sounded like outright laughter when she'd checked herself in the mirror one morning, a laugh that said wordlessly 'you're wearing  _ that _ ?' as though wearing her father's oversized coat were something to laugh at. Over the weeks, though, it had started getting worse, Mocking her during training ( _ hm, I can't say that I've ever seen that technique before  _ in that tone that meant 'are you supposed to be doing it that way, because it just looks like flailing to me') to whispering in her ear while Jeralt was trying to negotiate contracts with their latest employers ( _ If she's desperate enough to hire common mercenaries, one would think she'd be desperate enough to actually pay them in coin _ the voice declared, and Byleth privately agreed), but all of them in the same childlike, temperamental tone, and of course never coming when she'd expect, so Jeralt had started asking why she was jumping at nothing. 

Either the voice in her head was something that was just bleeding over into the mornings, like the time she'd been convinced for an entire day that it was Garland Moon even though it was clearly the middle of winter; or it was a sign of inevitable oncoming madness, but she could probably work with that. People thought she was odd anyway, what was a little extra oddness among fellow mercenaries? Otis was clearly mad, after all. He was going around camp claiming that he could defeat the Ashen Demon. 

There was also, Byleth supposed one cold Great Tree Moon Morning, the possibility that the voice in her head actually  _ was  _ some kind of spirit, but what were the odds of that happening? 

She snapped back to reality when Jeralt quickly waved his hand in front of her eyes. "Hey. Letting your mind wander like that is going to get you killed out on the battlefield, Kid. You remember where we're heading?"

"Sure, up the Rhodos Coast, the west side of Kingdom territory." She said.

"Are you-" 

"I'm already packed." Byleth said, holding her pack up to demonstrate. Her belongings were sparse anyway- a few changes of clothes, maintenance supplies for her arms and armor, her journal. 

"Good. How are we stocked for-" Jeralt was interrupted by the commotion outside. "Seriously? This early in the morning?" 

What are rich kids doing out this early in the morning? Byleth thought. You could smell the rich coming off of them, even before she could see them- shiny new weapons that still had the forge smells to them, bright new uniforms that the dye had barely finished adhering to, and one of them (the darker young man, she guessed) was using a perfumed hair oil that smelled like all the mansions of the Leicester Alliance that she’d ever been to. Like amber, and like smoke. What were they doing so far from Alliance Territory, then? But no, she could see the three of them from the clearing where they were speaking with Jeralt and Otis, and they were all wearing the same uniform. A school, then?  _ Why would school children be running around before dawn, then?  _ The voice in her head asked, and Byleth shrugged one shoulder in response. 

"Change of plans." Jeralt shouted from across the field. "Kid, you go with the students, they've got some bandit problems. I'll get the rest of the band and back you up as soon as possible." He said, striding past Byleth without having to tell her anything further. Byleth gave him a sharp nod and grabbed her sword, striding towards the fields.

***

All things considered, they didn't suck. Oh, they weren't experts either, it was clear; Dimitri, the tall one, was putting so much force into his lance strikes that the shaft was clearly splintering, and Claude was spending about as much time flourishing as actually aiming his bow. She also wasn't sure if Edelgard was actually trained in axes or had just grabbed one as an emergency weapon, but the one she was using was over sized and she was having to use her own body as a counterweight, and it was clearly wearing her out quickly. Was there a tactful way to bring that up to rich kids? Eh, it wasn't like she was going to see them after this anyway. In fact, she thought, if Edelgard could actually take out the last bandit near her, it would clear a path for Byleth to get to the one screaming orders, and they could clear all of this up before Jeralt got everyone else collected and onto the field. 

The yell of effort coming from Edelgard made it clear that she'd made her best effort at taking out the bandit nearest her, but hadn't quite made the connection. Shit. Byleth heard herself yell "Claude, cover her!" while sprinting forward towards the lead bandit, aiming to take him down quickly. She struck at him hard and fast- once, twice, thrice, and while axes were great for causing major damage, they couldn't block for shit. Byleth took him down with a shot to the ribs that bled like a burst sausage. The bandit went down almost immediately, blood staining the grass as he fell backward. In retrospect, Byleth knew she should have checked closer on him- the drop was too fast, and he hadn't put up any kind of fight- but her attention was drawn by a short pained scream. She heard someone shout "Edelgard!" and turned to see Edelgard grabbing her left arm and grimacing in pain. 

_ You'd better check on her  _ said the voice in her head, and Byleth sighed, muttering "I was going to." under her breath as she strode across the battlefield to Edelgard. She'd shoved away Claude as he'd tried to look at her arm, while Dimitri was running across the battlefield towards them, having circled around to flank them. 

"Let me see." Byleth said, as she pried Edelgard's hand away from the wound. It wasn't a terribly deep wound, and luckily it had cut cut cleanly instead of a ragged wound- much easier for healing purposes. "It's fine. It will be after we get some vulnerary applied and have it bandaged." She had no doubt it hurt, but it wasn't going to impact the use of the arm at all. Plus, how much combat was a noble kid going to see, anyway? Whatever response Edelgard would have had was cut short by her snapping her head up, and using her good arm to grab a knife on her belt. Byleth's instincts were right, she should have checked on the bandit, because he clearly wasn't ready for the grave yet. 

Byleth heard him scream "You'll DIE!" and take a huge overhead swing towards Edelgard. Byleth moved to shove Edelgard out of the way. Then realized that shoving Edelgard had saved her, sure, but at the expense of putting Byleth directly in between the axe and Edelgard.  _ You utter imbecile!  _ shouted the voice in her head.

As far as last words went, "oh fuck." was probably in the top ten.

Byleth waited, her eyes closed, for the inevitable screaming pain that she expected when axe met spine, only to be met with- well nothing. Quite a bit of nothing, she realized, opening her eyes. Nothing visible but utter inky blackness, no sound, not even her own breathing, and the only thing she felt was an odd sensation of weightlessness, like jumping off of a cliff into a swimming hole. If this was dying, she reflected, it wasn't so bad. Well, Dying itself was rather disheartening, but at least it didn't hurt. 

Her silent repose was immediately interrupted by a half muffled scream. "I had been wondering if your case of foolishness was terminal, but clearly I need wonder no longer, for here the answer stands before me!" Byleth blinked a few times, and there before her (where there had clearly been nothing before) was a huge stone throne, and the girl she'd seen multiple times in her dreams- small, with incredibly green hair and dressed in the most absurd regalia. The girl pressed her hands to her face and sighed in frustration. "What did you hope to accomplish with that stunt? Are you TRYING to get me killed, you fool?" She sighed one more time, then seemed to settle. "Although, if you don't know the value of your own life, you're not going to protect it very well, are you?" She continued, in a much more reasonable tone of voice, then stood, her hair shifting behind her as though in a stiff breeze. "I suppose that means its up to me to protect you. You may call me Sothis." She finished, as though bestowing some great favor onto Byleth. 

Sothis, Sothis...Blast, where HAD she heard that name before. The answer danced on the very outside edges of Byleth's brain, spinning themselves just out of reach as though in mockery. "Sothis?" The name slipped out, involuntarily. 

The benign look on Sothis's face turned to irritation. "Did you believe me some mere child, who had forgotten her own name? What does that make you, then, if this 'child' just saved your life?" She asked, hands planted on her hips. 

"I'm not a child." Byleth replied. Sothis started turning red and shaking, in an admirable imitation of a lobster thrown into a pot. Before she could get going on the rant that was clearly building to a head, Byleth interjected. "Thank you for saving me." 

With a sigh, all of the rage suddenly vanished from Sothis. "There now, was gratitude so hard? I did deem you worth saving, after all." She paused, and started pacing in a tight circle in front of the throne, feet hitting the stone with a rhythmic smack. "Now time has stopped, if only for a few moments... However did I manage that? How did I..." Her muttering lowered in volume until she was simply speaking to herself and not to Byleth at all. 

Byleth gave her a moment or two before speaking. "Same way you remembered your name? Jeralt says that if he doesn't write things down, he never knows when he'll remember them next." 

"What are you saying, then, that I'll start having memories pop up at the most unexpected times?" Sothis scoffed. Byleth shrugged as if to say 'it's only a theory.' "Well, I can hardly keep time stopped forever for you, at least as far as I know. But what to do next? I can hardly just let you die, either..." 

"You could... keep me frozen until I'm safe." Byleth said. 

Sothis scoffed. "If time is frozen for you, it's frozen for everyone, you fool! It's not as though the bandits are wandering around your body in stasis." 

Byleth raised her eyebrows a bit and looked to the side, as if to say 'sorry for not knowing how your Time Magic works, as THAT'S surely common knowledge.' 

Sothis, either not seeing the expression or not caring, continued. "But that's to be expected, it's not as though controlling time is common among the magical arts... Of Course! If I can stop time, surely I can send you back in time! Yes, I do believe that it can be done. Not too far, of course, but I only need to rewind a couple of minutes, just enough for you to make a smarter choice. You really are quite troublesome." She said, but with a smile that suggested she didn't mind the trouble overmuch. "All is well. You are aware of what is to come, which means you can protect yourself this time. Now go!" She said, raising her arms in the air. "You, who bears the flames within. Drift through the flow of time to find the answers that you seek!" 

If Byleth had expected a comfortable return to reality, she was mistaken. First off, Sothis had stopped time at the very last possible second, and so the first thing that Byleth was aware of was the expected pain of an axe going into her spine, and then the physical sensation of rewinding started. This was possibly the strangest sensation she'd ever experienced- as though she was physically being manipulated back in the position that she'd been in moments prior, the same way that a puppeteer would move a marionette. Was anyone else feeling this? She wondered, as the colors of the world flexed and reversed in front of her. Was anyone else noticing? Did anyone else  _ feel  _ this, their limbs shifting backward as the world clicked back to normal? 

If anyone had, they didn't have time to say anything- Sothis had only moved time back a few seconds, Byleth realized, as she heard the head mercenary shout "You'll Die!" at the top of his lungs once again. She moved to block this time, placing her sword between the axe and Edelgard, the blade vibrating under the impact of the axe, and with a sharp twist of her arms, Byleth shoved the mercenary backwards.

Claude shouted out something, but the words were lost under the sudden noise of multiple horses and multiple soldiers in gleaming plate armor, clanging their way onto the battlefield. If the initial fight with the mercenaries hadn't woken Remire, the knights were certainly going to. And if, by some miracle, anyone had slept through the soldiers coming onto the battlefield, they certainly would wake up to the shouting of the man on the lead horse, yelling as though to reach the Oghma Mountains. "The Knights of Seiros have arrived! We'll cut you down for terrorizing our students!" The remaining thieves bolted before the sound. "Get back here, ruffians! Miri, take the contingent and go after the bandits, I'm going to check on the students." The second rider nodded sharply, then turned her horse in the direction the man was pointing. Byleth watched him as she cleaned off her sword, as the man dismounted his horse and gave it a friendly pat on the shoulder. He took each of the students by the shoulders, giving them a once-over for injuries or damage, frowning deeply as he saw the blood on Edelgard's arm. 

"We should go. Now." Jeralt said, suddenly next to Byleth's shoulder. "The knights will take care of the students from here, and we're already later than I wanted to be on the road-" he started, in what sounded like not quite the whole truth. Meanwhile, in the background, Dimitri gestured towards Byleth and Jeralt, and the man started coming towards them. Jeralt pushed Byleth by the shoulder, muttering "go go gogo-" but it was too late. The approaching man pulled off his helmet, shouting "Captain Jeralt! It is you, isn't it! Great goodness, it's been ages!" He planted himself in front of Jeralt, beaming with a face that, despite the mustache and age lines, looked like an overgrown teenager. "Don't you recognize me? It's your old right-hand man, Alois! At least that's how I always thought of myself. It must have been... Why, 20 years since I last saw you! Oh, I always knew you were still alive!"

Byleth had seen her father in plenty of ways. The able commander of a band of mercenaries. The focused fisherman. Seventeen mugs of ale deep at a tavern they were never, ever going back to. This Jeralt, however, was a brand new Jeralt- a trapped man. Oh, he tried to escape, saying something about how he was just a wandering mercenary now and how he had work to do, and it almost worked. Almost. Although Alois was a good hand shorter than Jeralt, he and his horse made a wall that Jeralt simply couldn't sneak past. "Captain, I insist you come back to the monastery with me!" Alois proclaimed, then continued, frowning, "You swore an oath, Captain Jeralt." 

Byleth recognized by the look on her father's face that he realized he'd been outmatched. "Garrag Mach..." he said, quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. "There's no more avoiding it." Jeralt made quick eye contact with Byleth and waved her over. 

"Why, captain! Is this your daughter?" Alois asked as Byleth came over. 

"I'm the Ashen Demon. Famous bandit." The quip came quick and flat, and earned her an elbow in her ribs from her father and a raucous outburst of laughter from Alois.  _ Is this really the time for a joke?  _ the voice asked, but was drowned out by Alois.

"Ah, such a dry sense of humor, like your father. You'll be accompanying us to the monastery as well, aren't you?" Alois asked.

Byleth and Jeralt looked at each other for an extended moment, before Byleth answered with a one-shouldered shrug. "Guess so." 

"If you and I are both leaving, that's going to leave The Duke in charge. Go grab him for me, kid." Jeralt said, shifting back into his 'attending to business' voice. Whatever he was about to say next was interrupted by Alois slapping him on the arm, jovially. "Ah, don't look so glum, Captain! You're not going to try and run off, are you?" 

"Even I wouldn't try to run from the Knights of Seiros forever." He replied, then turned his attention back to Byleth. "Go, kid." 

She'd found The Duke- a very short man from Almyra, who went by no other name- fairly quickly and explained the situation as best she could with her limited information.

Her way back to her father was interrupted by someone calling out "there she is!" and the three students that had gotten them into this whole mess, surrounding her like some sort of coordinated attack. 

"We wanted to thank you for your help back there." Dimitri started, before being cut off by Edelgard. 

"You're clearly a very skilled mercenary. And your father- Jeralt, the Blade Breaker? Famous captain of the Knights of Seiros, oft praised as the strongest mercenary to ever walk Fodlan. Have I missed anything?" 

"Guess not. How's the arm?" Byleth asked, gesturing toward the fresh bandage. 

"You were correct, it's not very deep." Edelgard said. "It shouldn't take more than a week or two to heal." 

"Hubert's going to be maaaaad...." Claude said, and his voice and smile were teasing and light, but the teasing tone didn't reach his eyes. 

"Be silent, Claude-" Edelgard started imperiously, but was cut off in turn by Dimitri. "The way you conducted yourself on the battlefield was captivating! I clearly have much still to learn."

"Your skill is exactly why I must ask you to lend your skill to the Adrestian Empire." Edelgard barreled in as Dimitri paused to take a breath. "I may as well tell you, I am no mere student, I am also the future-"

"Halt, Edelgard. Please, allow me to finish my own proposition. Faergus is in dire need of warriors with your skill. Please, do consider coming back to the kingdom with me." Dimitri said, wresting control back of the conversation. 

Claude glanced between the two warring royals and the blank look on Byleth's face, before commenting, "You know, generally before asking favors of people, I try and find out their name. Ah well, no time for niceties in this fast modern world of ours. So, capable stranger, let's start here- what is your name, and where were you born?" he continued, and all three of the Garrag Mach students stared at Byleth, waiting for an answer. 

Where was she born? That was a weird question, and difficult to answer.

_ You don’t know where you were born?  _ The voice in her head asks, incredulous. What, and you do? Byleth sassed back in her own head, and the voice either had nothing to say to that or simply chose not to, instead going  _ They all seem to put a lot of stock into your place of birth. What are you going to say? _

Byleth cast around in her head, trying to put her fathers stories in any sort of timeline. Most of the stories that had a place attached were down south, so probably...

“Byleth Eisner. The Adrestian Empire.” She replied, finally, flatly. Edelgard smiled, as though it was an accomplishment and that the accomplishment was her own. There was an uncomfortable silence in the air for a few seconds before Byleth glanced over her shoulder, and spotted her escape route- The Duke. "I have to go." she said, and walked off with only the voice in her head for company. 

_ What do you think of them?  _ The voice- no, Sothis asked.  _ You’ll be having to deal with all of them if you’re going to the academy, after all.  _

Why does that mean I have to think about them? It’s not like I’ll be interacting with nobles, after all. She thought, with an unvoiced amount of spite in the word nobles. 

_ You’re not any fun at all!  _ Sothis pouted.  _ Come on, what do you think of Dimitri? A handsome fellow, isn’t he? So very tall and fair, just like a knight, don’t you think? And yet there’s such a sorrow in his eyes.  _

If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear that the voice in her head had a yen for the young man. Maybe so. She thought. But I’ve seen the type before, where they think that if they hold themselves to an impossible standard and then as soon as they can't reach it, they break. Never turns out pretty. 

_ If you say so... _ The voice replied with a shade of doubt.  _ What about Claude? Such an easy smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Mysterious.  _

I’ve never trusted a noble as far as I could throw them, she thought back, but I think with Claude if I said that to him he’d probably laugh and say that’s smart. Most of the nobles like that want to think they’re tricky instead of obviously scheming. It'll be interesting to see if he's actually smart, or if he just thinks he is. 

_ What about Princess Edelgard? Interesting to see such a delicate looking young lady armed with an Axe. _

Smug little shit, isn’t she? Byleth thought, and half thought she heard Sothis laughing back at her. 


	2. Great Tree Moon (2)

Weird People at the Academy

-RHEA. 

-Everyone attached to Rhea

-Everyone working for Rhea

-This includes the Knights of Seiros  (Esp. Alois )

-All of these people my age

-Manuela and to a lesser extent, Hanneman

-Me, I guess

_ Rhea's lapdog is watching you again _ . 

I see him, Byleth thought. 

Ever since they'd gotten to Garrag Mach, Sothis had gotten louder and more opinionated, with commentary on everybody from the Archbishop ( _ Clearly a madwoman if she's making you a teacher,  _ and Byleth didn't disagree) to the other professors she'd been introduced to ( _ You know, I was certain that you'd be the worst dressed teacher at the academy, but then I wasn't expecting to see one of their senior professors dressed like a brothel owner  _ and Manuela had thought that Byleth's slight frown had been directed at her, not the voice in her head. Awkward to say the least) all the way to the maids gossiping ( _ I think they're right, it is strange that you just call your father by his first name.  _ Byleth didn't dignify that with a response.) Despite the irritation of the running commentary in her head, it did help. It felt like someone else watching out for her, now that Jeralt had been shoved back into the Knights of Seiros.

_ Should we let him know that we can see him following us everywhere? He ought to know that his attempts at stealth are unsuccessful. _

I think he knows, thought Byleth. He wants me to know that I see him. It's an intimidation thing. 

Byleth's mind shifted with an unseen shrug.  _ If you say so.  _

She'd been spending a lot of her free moments in the greenhouse. Despite Sothis's exclamations of wonder ( _ An entire glass building full of plants? What's wrong with just having a normal garden, like the rest of Fodlan?) _ at least plants were familiar- Roses were roses and violets were violets, whether in Enbarr, Fhirdiad, or Derdriu, and they were the same here. Plus, there were plenty of cats around, and even the grumpiest of them were still more than happy to accept a scratch behind the ears and a morsel of whatever Byleth had handy. 

Both Byleth and Sothis were too distracted with one of the cats, a big brute of an orange tabby that had been very vocal about wanting more attention, to see the songbird come in. Come in she did, though, singing something familiar. Byleth couldn't place it exactly, but Otis and The Duke had spent enough time drunkenly singing opera songs that she could at least place it as something from that.

_ She's coming this way!  _ Sothis said, and Byleth panicked. Years of experience hiding on the road kicked in, and Byleth froze in place, crouched between the cabbages and the kitchen herbs, just out of sight. If anyone looked at her directly, she would have looked stupid, but where she was, nobody was going to look at her directly. Ideally. 

An older voice trilled out, interrupting the songbird. "Dorothea, is that you! Why, it's been  **ages** !" 

"Manuela! Here I was starting to think you were avoiding me. It seems like forever since you left the opera company!" The songbird- Dorothea- replied. 

_ Opera company, huh? I guess that explains the singing.  _ Byleth ignored Sothis, trying to crane her neck to see what was going on without being obvious. From her angle, though, all she could see was a giant mass of brown hair, capped with a jaunty hat. 

Byleth hoped that this was going to be a quick hello how are you goodbye sort of conversation, or that Manuela and Dorothea would have their conversation someplace else, but neither of those hopes came true. Instead, their conversation veered into an endless chain of 'whatever happened to so-and-so' and 'did what's her name ever marry that one guy' or 'did you hear about what happened to whoever'. This spun out for over a quarter of an hour before the big orange tabby started shoving himself against her leg, looking for more attention, and Byleth's knee started to ache with uncomfortable familiarity. 

_ Your knee is going to give out at any moment.  _ Sothis helpfully pointed out. 

I know. 

_ You're going to have to stand up at some time, unless you have a particular interest in ruining some of the cabbages. _

I  **know.** Byleth thought with a frown. Just because the voice in her head was right didn't mean she had to point it out. She braced herself against the wall and pushed herself upright.

Any hopes of sneaking away unseen were immediately dashed as Manuela waved energetically. "Byleth! Come and meet Dorothea! ...What were you doing in the kitchen garden?" Manuela asked, puzzled. 

Shit. "I dropped my coin purse." She said, holding up the leather pouch that had been beaten to shreds over the years.  _ Really? Are you so unpracticed that that's the best lie you can come up with on short notice?  _ Despite the internal critique, it passed muster well enough, and Manuela just shrugged and moved on. "Dorothea Arnult, this is Byleth Eisner. She's just started here at the Monastery. Byleth, this is Dorothea, one of our students, and a former colleague of mine at the Mittelfrank Opera Company back in Enbarr." 

There was a moment of awkward nothing before Sothis hissed in Byleth's ear-  _ Don't be so rude! Give her a handshake or something-  _ and Byleth stretched out her hand like an automaton. Dorothea took her hand with both of her own, saying "It's wonderful to meet you, Byleth. Are you a student here? Which house are you going to be in?" She asked, sounding like she actually cared about the answer as opposed to it being just perfunctory questions. She had the biggest, greenest eyes that Byleth had ever seen, and it took an effort to stop staring and answer. 

_ Are you going to say something or just gape there like a Fodlan Carp?  _ Sothis asked.

“I’ll be... working here. With my father.” Byleth said.

“I see.” Dorothea withdrew her hands, as Byleth hadn’t made any motion to. “I’m in the Black Eagle house. I hope to see you around, if they don’t keep you too busy working. I’ll drop by the infirmary with those programs as soon as I can find them, Manuela- I wouldn’t believe they cast Yennifer as Elincia, either, unless I saw it in print!” She patted Byleth on the shoulder, quick and friendly, and bounced out of the greenhouse. 

Manuela sighed, full of nostalgia. “I can’t believe she left the stage. Not that I’m unhappy to see her, mind you, but she could have been a star rivaling- well, me. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Magvel cycle, but she made a simply outstanding Eirika. Her lament from that show is famous, I’ll have to see if I can convince her to sing it for you one day. Mind you, it’s amazing that her debut production even made it to the stage, what a chain of disasters THAT show was...” Manuela had hopped back onto the Opera Nostalgia train, and Byleth was listening to exactly none of it, staring after where Dorothea had left, her mind full of nothing but big green eyes, a mass of brown hair, and a very jaunty hat. 

_ I hope she’ll sing for us one day, I love music. _ Sothis piped up in Byleth’s very empty brain.

_ Hello? Am I the only one here in your skull? You know, it’s incredibly rude to ignore people who are speaking to you. I’d suggest listening to Manuela if you’re not going to listen to me.  _

Byleth blinked a couple of times, trying to get back to the here and now. What?

_ Oh, for heaven’s sake, you’re mooning over the girl like you’re sweet on her.  _

Byleth very carefully composed her face and brain to avoid responding, but it must have backfired, because Sothis broke back in with a huge, delighted gasp. 

_ You’re sweet on her! Oh, how darling, I didn't think that you had it in you, to be blunt- _

I am NOT sweet on her, Byleth thought with all of her might. She’s just pretty, that’s all. I can admit Seteth is well formed. Are you going to gasp and claim that I’m sweet on him, as well?

Byleth could swear that she heard Sothis roll her eyes.  _ I would certainly hope that you had better taste in romance than to have a yen for someone who’s so indiscreet at following you around. By the way, he’s at the greenhouse door. _

Thank you. Byleth thought, tuning back in to hear the tail end of Manuela’s story. 

“And then, would you believe that after gambling away an entire set, he had the nerve to come to rehearsal the next day? We were  **this** close to having to sing on an empty stage, and- ” Manuela's monologue was interrupted by a discreet cough from just inside the greenhouse doors. 

"Professors." 

_ Oh, wonderful, he's deigned to speak to us instead of watching us from the rooftops.  _

Byleth's initial thought was 'shut up, he'll hear you' even though she knew it was physically impossible.

"We've had to reschedule the meeting discussing which professor will be heading which house this year, as Lady Rhea has run into some unexpected obligations this evening. Instead, we'll be holding the meeting at this time tomorrow, if that's acceptable to both of you." His words made it sound like he was talking to both of them, but he was looking straight at Byleth. She shrugged one shoulder. 

"I'll take that to mean you have no objections, then." He finished, then swept his way out of the greenhouse in a way that could be prissy, if it weren't so dignified. 

_ You should ask if he always presents himself in such an overbearing manner!  _ Sothis exclaimed, clearly highly offended. 

Or I could not do that. Byleth instead tuned back into Manuela, who had started monologuing again as soon as Seteth was out of hearing range. "Lucky thing it got rescheduled, really, I'd forgotten that that meeting was supposed to be this evening at all! Now, Hanneman and I had already had our house assignments before all of this nasty business with our previous co-worker got started, but in light of everything it'd probably be best for us to start from scratch. If I know Hanneman, and at this point I think I do, he's probably going to angle for the Blue Lions house, as they have some very promising students in their ranks, but don't let him bully you out of the house that you want, Professor. Did you have any thoughts on that?"

_ Pro~fes~sor _ Sothis repeated, sing-song, in her head.  _ Teach the youths from the Adrestian Empire, then you'll get to look at Pretty Dorothea whenever you wish.  _

"Black Eagles?" Byleth said, half-aloud, but Manuela picked up on it anyway. 

"Interesting choice! There's a lot of potential in that class, if I do say so myself. Of course, the Adrestian Empire has a long history of producing mages, so if you do end up teaching that class, don't be afraid to ask Hanneman and I for some assistance, and in return you can help us out with some of your specialties- I've heard some interesting rumors about your skill with the sword, and if even half of them are true..." She continued on as she escorted Byleth out of the greenhouse, the orange tabby following close behind, hoping for more attention. 

_ You see what happens when you say things out loud, you goon? I certainly hope you can handle that class. _

Agreed, Byleth thought, as she was shoved genially to the dining hall, Manuela providing running commentary all the way. 


	3. Harpstring Moon (1)

Prep for Zanado:

-Prep students (weapons, first aid, etc.)

-Prep self (like any other mission)

-This is exactly like any other mission, it will be fine.

Seteth had said that he wanted the students on their way from Garrag Mach within an hour after sunrise, and Byleth had thought 'that's easy. I'm used to being on the road an hour before dawn. This will be relaxing, even.'

It was before dawn, and this was not relaxing. 

Garrag Mach was never completely silent- even at the oddest of hours there were people running last minute messages, coming in from various duties, or just starting their duties of the day early. Only a handful of servants were traversing the courtyards at this time of day, as her students trudged into the courtyard in ones and twos, most of them in cloaks. Harpstring moon's weather may have come in fast and hot in the last week, but pre-dawn was still chilly, and the lawn was wet with dew. The first tendrils of smoke from the kitchens spiraled through the air as Byleth lined her students up in front of her. 

She'd pulled her students together in the courtyard, to give them a once-over before heading out to Zanado. Just a quick one, to make sure that they weren't going to have to double back to get someone's sword or extra vulneraries or someone's good luck charm or anything like that. It was going to be just like Jeralt had always done before they broke camp and struck out to wherever the coin took them. If anything, she thought, this should be even easier- there were considerably fewer students then there had been mercenaries, and most of them were nobles, which meant that they should be better organized, right? 

Sothis had laughed at the thought, and Byleth now understood why.

"Edelgard, Hubert, Caspar..." She said, counting them off. "We're one short." 

"Linhardt." Edelgard and Caspar said at the same time. 

"I'll retrieve him, Professor!" Ferdinand piped up from his spot standing at parade rest, scampering off into the darkness. 

"Right. Weapons check?" Byleth said, receiving only blank stares as answer. "Guys. Does everyone have their weapons."

The responses were a mumbled variation of "Yes, Professor." Except, of course, for Caspar, who screamed "YEAH" into the darkness. 

"Good. The last thing we need is a repeat of what happened to Mercedes at the mock battle- Hilarious, but only because it wasn't lethal. Everyone have at least one vulnerary?" She asked, walking up and down the line of students. 

The same subdued chorus of "Yes, Professor." came up, except for Caspar, who yelled "YEA- wait, no, actually." 

Byleth gave Caspar one of her blankest stares. "See, this is why we do checks before we head out to the field." she stated as she tossed Caspar one of her spare vulneraries. "Come on, follow me- we're going over the battle plans." She said, turning toward the classroom without looking to see if her students were following. 

The classroom was freezing in the pre-dawn light, the stones seeming to radiate cold from around the dead fireplace. A couple of the students drew their cloaks closer around them as they all huddled around the one lantern that Byleth had lit, weighing down the corner of the Zanado map that Seteth had provided, an island of light in the dark room. 

"Professor, shouldn't we wait for everyone to be here?" Edelgard asked.

"This is what happens when you're late for rendezvous." Byleth replied, looking her straight in the eye, watching her face go from questioning to utterly aghast. "Professor, you- Surely-" 

"Relax, I'm fucking with you." Byleth replied, her voice never changing from her level delivery. 

_ That wasn't funny.  _ Sothis scolded. 

Not my problem if the future Empress of Everything can't identify satire. Byleth thought, as Edelgard frowned at her.

_ Oh, yes, and you're so incredibly easy to read. Clearly this was my mistake.  _ In contrast to Byleth, sarcasm dripped palpably from Sothis's every word. 

The internal dialogue was interrupted from commentary from outside. "Professor? Edelgard? Where did everyone go?"

"Excellent, they went ahead without us. I'm going back to sleep." 

"Oh, for heaven's sake. We're in here, Ferdie!" Dorothea called out, waving one arm from the depths of her cloak.

Byleth smoothed out the battle plans as Ferdinand dragged Linhardt to the table. "Okay, quick strategy check." Byleth started, grabbing a discarded quill to use as a pointer. "From the information that we have, we have one major bridge to cross before we hit the bandit encampment proper. Priority one is to hustle your asses over that bridge. Caspar, Ferdinand, you'll be heading over the bridge first. As soon as there's an opening,  **move.** The last thing you want is to get hit with wave after wave of bandits while your classmates are trying to get past you." Byleth smoothed out the map once again, gesturing everyone closer. "There are two bridges leading further into their encampment, this one leading north, and then this one over to the west. Once the central area here is clear, all of you are going to continue north into the main force of the bandit force- that's where their leader is going to be hiding. Just like before, once you're over the bridge, keep moving. Whoever is in the best shape out of the front line takes point. While you guys press north, I'll take the west bridge. That'll prevent them from flanking you and hitting your back lines, and push whatever bandits are on the west bank into the main force. Once I split off, Edelgard is in charge. If anything goes wrong, give the order to fall back. They're bandits, not an invading force- there's no shame in cutting and running if it comes to that." 

"B-but Professor, what if the bandits come after you instead?" Bernadetta piped up.

"If they turn on you, cut them down while you can get the free hit." Byleth replied, in the same lecturing tone. 

"But what if they, you know...Get you?" Bernadetta pressed. 

Byleth blinked a couple of times at Bernadetta. "Bandits can't kill me." She responded, then pressed on over Bernie's squeaked response. "Quick reminders for everyone- if you're injured, fall back to Linhardt so he can heal you. Don't make him come up to the front lines, that's how you lose healers. Ranged attackers, remember you've been issued those swords for a reason. If the enemy closes in, don't burn yourself to a crisp, don't try and draw an arrow that's not going to have enough pull, hit them with the sword." She said, punctuating her sentences with a tap of the quill, snapping loudly in the classroom. "Remember, they're just bandits. You're better armed, you're better trained, and by the end of today you're going to have more experience in battle, too. Hubert-" She gestured for him to move the hair out of his eyes. "Lets go. Sooner we get out there, the sooner we get back." She moved to leave the classroom again, shepherding the students before her towards the gates. 

_ Aren't you worried about them?  _ Sothis asked, genuine concern coloring her voice.

They're all nobles, right? They've been training with weapons since they were children, I'm sure they'll be fine. Dorothea hasn't, but she's had sword training for the stage. I don't see the problem here. 

_ The problem is that they're children, you fool! Sending children onto a battlefield is.... abominable! _

Relax. They're all my age and I've been on a battlefield for a decadeish. I've been teaching them for two months. I have this all planned out. Edelgard doesn't want to fail in front of her future subjects, Hubert won't want to fail in front of 'Lady Edelgard.' Ferdinand sees it as his Noble Obligation to perform well on the battlefield, and Petra has an obligation to succeed if not for herself then for Brigid. Dorothea doesn't want to look weak in front of potential spouses, and Linhardt and Bernadetta don't want to be left alone on a battlefield. Caspar has no idea of his own mortality. It's like a pile of wood for a bonfire, all the pieces are keeping each other up. 

Byleth set her teeth hard in her jaw. It's going to be perfectly fine, she thought as much to Sothis as to herself.

~*~

It wasn't fine. 


	4. Harpstring Moon (2)

It wasn't fine. 

In everyone's defense, things had gone smoothly up to a point- everyone had made it over the first bridge just as planned and into the central plain. Where things had quickly gone south was Byleth's plan on taking the west flank- there were more bandits than she'd anticipated, and they'd come over the west bridge with the speed of men made desperate. 

"Edelgard, start cutting north! I'll cover your backs!" Byleth screamed over the din. Edelgard raised her axe in response and started leading the group forward- and that's where it all fell apart. 

It was one of those scenarios where there was a lot of fault to go around if you were in a mood to assign blame, but the first weak link had been with one of Bernardetta's shots. Somehow, in the heat of the battle, Bernadetta either couldn't or wouldn't remember the advice that Byleth had given her to use her sword if enemies got too close, and the arrow that she loosed only had enough behind it to gently plink against the bandit's armor, instead of killing him. This would have been fine, if Bernie and Ferdinand hadn't been standing too close together, which caused Ferdinand to trip over a flailing Bernadetta in an attempt to get out of her way. This would have been, if not fine, then at least recoverable, if Hubert hadn't chosen that exact second to let a fireball loose at a different bandit. Ferdinand's face ended up directly in the path of said fireball. At this point, things were fully in the category of not-fine, but it was made even worse by the bandit who would have been killed by Hubert's fireball deciding that this was the perfect opportunity to take a hostage, and grabbing the nearest student, Dorothea. Despite her best efforts, she wasn't able to break out of the bandit's grip before having a knife pressed to her throat. 

Byleth saw the bandit's mouth start moving, but anything he was saying was drowned out by the rushing of blood in her ears, fury and frustration at the whole situation mingling until there was only one thought in her brain-

_ No. I do not accept this.  _

They both knew it without words- the gift of manipulating time, if only for a moment, was open to her once again. It was more difficult trying to use the power on command, and time inched itself backward, each moment resisting change like a boulder resists being pushed up a hill. She could see  **everything** through the haze of effort- the bandit's knife moving away from Dorothea's throat, the thin cut sealing itself as the blood crawled back into her body. The burns on Ferdinand's face healing back together the way that water fills the cracks in arid earth. The arrow that Bernardetta had bounced off the bandit clattered back into her fingers, and Byleth had a new plan. 

Time snapped back like a rubber band off of a fingertip as Byleth launched herself into the bandit that Bernardetta aimed at, arrow visibly trembling against the bowstring. The sword slid into his ribs with barely any resistance from the cheap and tattered leather armor he wore, and he dropped to the ground almost instantly after she pulled her sword back. As he fell, Byleth could hear the crack of Hubert's fireball launching, as he cackled all the way. The bandit that had taken Dorothea in the initial timeline met a swift end between Ferdinand's lance and Edelgard's axe as they pressed northward. 

_ I don't know if I'm going to sleep soundly after all that.  _

Maybe now isn't a great time, Byleth thought back, as she fought off a sudden wave of nausea. 

_ That's probably a side effect of turning back time. Somehow I don't think that we can do that infinitely.  _

We can discuss this later. 

There was a pause in her mind, as though Sothis was trying to say something else, but all she said was  _ You're right. _

We're fine. We're all going to be fine. 

~*~

She'd fought down the nausea for the rest of the skirmish, and now the last of the bandits had fled right into the arms of the Knights of Seiros or lay dead on the sand. Kostas's body was draped across the stone ruins, having met his end at the end of Petra's whip-quick bladework. 

She ran through the checklist of what she remembered Jeralt doing after each battle- checking on her students individually (no lasting wounds, though Caspar had taken a couple of nasty cuts and Bernardetta was about 6 inches away from passing out once the adrenaline had dropped) checking on the weapons (Ferdinand had worn his spear down almost to splinters) and of course making sure that everyone that was supposed to be dead was actually dead and not just waiting to jump them as soon as they turned their backs (none of them this time- her students had done well at making all of the bandits stay dead, on this timeline anyway.) She waited until all of them were paying attention to something other than their professor and moved a few dozen yards away, screening herself from prying eyes behind a few of the more prominent rock spires, and gave in to the demands of her roiling stomach. 

It was over quickly- she hadn't eaten before marching out, so the only things that had been mixing around for the last hour had been whatever she'd eaten last night and various... fluids.

A shame about all the bandits, she thought between the last few heaves. I remember this place being so much more peaceful.

_ You do? When were you here in the Red Canyon?  _ Sothis asked, intrigued.

Byleth blinked a few times as she wiped her mouth with a spare bandage. ...I haven't. 

She'd been a lot of places in her life- Mercenary work had carried her and Jeralt from the forests of the Adrestian coast, to the flat deserts of Sreng, to the swampland outside of Derdriu with its fist-sized mosquitoes. If she'd seen anything like the red sandstone spires that she currently leaned against, though, she certainly couldn't put them to a specific place- and the ruins around her were even more difficult to place. The way the buildings were put together looked like nothing that she'd seen. Maybe it was something that Sothis had remembered?

_ I... I don't remember anything specific. It is not as though I can look at it and say 'I remember that specific spire, I know what that building used to be.' It's more like memories tied to emotions. So many emotions! Joy and sorrow, fear and love... If I was here before... What was I, to this place? What was it to me?  _

Byleth exhaled. 

Thank you, by the way. Without your help, today would have ended... very differently.

_ It would do you well to remember that! I do not wish anything untoward to happen to your students either, you know. I will continue to allow you to access my power, should circumstances require. However, this power is not infinite, as the mortal body was not designed to take the strain of it very often... as I believe you're experiencing now.  _

Byleth's response to that was another empty heave. 

_ The physical reaction should pass shortly, if that is any consolation.  _

Gee, thanks. 

_ You've earned my gratitude as well. The thieves are no more.  _

Byleth frowned as she rested her forehead against the stone spire once more. Why are you...

_ Grateful? I do not know, but I feel it all the same, and so I felt it meet that I express it to you. Don't start falling over from sheer shock, now.  _

It wasn't funny enough for a full laugh, but it was funny enough for quick snort. 

The time for internal dialogues about being able to reverse time was over, though, as the voices of her students started to drift over to Byleth.  _ You should probably get back to them, they'll be missing you.  _

Sothis's comment had barely passed through Byleth's mind before Dorothea poked her head around the spire. "Professor! There you are, everyone's been looking for you." She said, with a hint of a scold, then took a look at the ground and Byleth and put two and two together. "Is everything okay?"

"Yup. Must have had something weird in the rations is all." She said. 

"...If you say so, Professor." Dorothea said doubtfully, unconsciously touching her throat, where there was no wound and never had been. 

Byleth allowed herself to be escorted back to her students, and they were bruised, and they were tired, but they were so  **proud,** every single one of them- even Linhardt, who while pale and worried allowed himself to be congratulated on being able to pull off healing in the middle of battle. Caspar crowed about how his arm doesn't even hurt anymore and showed off the closed wound for everyone to see, making all of them touch the raised scar that comes with magical healing. Even Bernadetta, who looked like she'd still like to run for the hills, touched the curve of her bow with the same friendliness that a painter shows to their brushes or a knitter to their favorite needles. Byleth let the various conversations wash over her, half-responding to Edelgard's comments about the various ruins and joking about how it must have been an ancient, disappeared race that left them, and realized- she is proud of them, her students. 

And it feels like home. 


	5. Harpstring Moon (3)

Student after-action Checklist:

- ~~Edelgard~~ Fine  
- ~~Hubert~~ Suspiciously fine fine  
- ~~Ferdinand~~ Fine, might just be bravado- keep an eye out  
- ~~Caspar~~ Enthusiastic, keep in mind if Jeralt is looking for anyone once this class graduates?  
- ~~Linhardt~~ Asleep? Check back  
-Dorothea  
-Petra  
-Bernadetta (Prepare for mild screaming)

She'd checked on some of them already- Hanneman had pointed out that most of her students hadn't seen life-or-death combat before, and it was her duty as a professor to make sure that her students were handling it okay. Some of them, like Caspar, had handled the situation with almost worrying enthusiasm. It was time to steel her shoulders and start talking to the students who were less likely to handle combat well. 

Like Dorothea. 

Byleth knocked on the dormitory door, once, twice, then stepped back.

_Do you think she's in there?_

Byleth answered by stepping backwards, allowing space as Dorothea swung the door open. 

"Hello, Professor. What brings you here?" Byleth still wasn't good at reading people, but even she could put the hastily washed face, red eyes, and voice thick with forced cheer together and realize that Dorothea had just been crying. 

"Checking in. On everybody." She said. "Professor Hanneman said I should." 

"Oh, of course!" Dorothea stepped back from the door and gestured, saying "please, come in."

The commoner dormitories were decidedly more common than the Noble dormitories were- none of the furniture pieces matched, and the beds sagged as though they'd been slept in by generations of students. Despite that, Dorothea had clearly put in effort to make the room seem homelike and welcoming, with the furniture set up to create separated study and sleep areas. The walls were utterly covered with various things- flyers from various opera productions, some of which had Dorothea front and center in leading roles; various prints of art, some of which had to have been gifts from some of her many, many suitors; and dominating one wall was a hand drawn calendar, covered in notes and events- major feast days, seminars, class activities, training times, various dinners and teas that she'd been invited to. There was so much of Dorothea in here that it was impossible to notice that the furniture was mismatched. Dorothea herself stepped backwards, next to her bed, her hands clasped politely in front of her. 

Byleth stepped just far enough inside the room to allow the door to swing shut behind her, allowing the silence to become awkward before clearing her throat. "You've got the makings of an impressive mage, you know."

Dorothea waved off the compliment with a gentle 'pfft' and hand gesture. "You don't have to flatter me, Professor." 

"It's not flattery. You've got a good amount of power behind your strikes, and your aim is excellent. Caspar owes you at least a couple of 'thank you's' for taking out some of the bandits that swarmed him. Our next step is going to be getting you to strike faster. Once you have that down, you'd be able to clear an entire battlefield." 

Dorothea dropped onto her bed, hard. "An entire battlefield..." She whispered, knuckles whitening in her clasped hands. 

Shit. "Not that we'd send you on a battlefield by yourself, of course." She paused again, grasping for words. "Ah... I know it can be... difficult, having to deal with everything on the battlefield for the first time...." This was getting worse by the second. This whole professor thing was getting worse by the second, she was ruining Dorothea, she was going to ruin everything. What would Jeralt say?

What **would** Jeralt say?

_You've heard your father talk to green mercenaries before. Breathe._

"I... Jeralt always says that it's a good thing, actually, finding the battlefield a difficult place. He said that it means that you're holding onto your humanity, that it would prevent you from growing callous and indifferent. So... I mean, don't try and stop yourself from feeling sad about this, is what I'm saying. It's a difficult thing." Byleth finished, the words falling out of her in a jumbled rush that contrasted with her impassive face. Dorothea's eyes had welled up again, but her face seemed more relaxed so at least things weren't even worse than when Byleth had started. 

Dorothea sniffed daintily. "Was it this difficult for you, Professor?" 

Byleth's lips twitched downward for a quick moment, quick enough to be imperceptible. "I... really don't remember." 

_Yes you do._

Yes, she did. She hadn't had to tell anything to Sothis, all the memories had just been there, like the paintings in the library. 

She'd been young, maybe 12, when she'd first killed a man on the battlefield. It hadn't been a battlefield when the fight started, to be fair- Jeralt had always tried to keep her as far from the fighting as possible. The battle had shifted, though, and one of the bandits that Jeralt and his company had been clearing out got the bright idea to go for the supply tents. Byleth grabbed one of the short swords, and struck the man near enough the heart that he'd bled out in moments, and when she looked back on it-

She didn't really feel more emotion than when she'd put on her boots that morning to go to the dining hall. 

But the truth wasn't helpful, and it wasn't what Dorothea needed right now. 

She sat with Dorothea for a few moments longer, letting her get the last of this wave of tears out, before clearing her throat. "I... need to go check on Bernardetta, but if you need anything, don't hesitate to come and talk to me. Or any of the other professors. I can't imagine that they'd kick you out of their offices if you went and said you needed to talk to them." She was starting to babble- it was time to go. 

"Let me come with you." Dorothea said, standing and brushing the wrinkles out of her skirt. "Bernie might be more comfortable if both of us were there. I think you still intimidate her a little bit, Professor." 

She should say no, she thinks. This was a burden she should shoulder alone, it's her job as a professor. She can't ask her students to help carry her duties. 

But then Dorothea smiled, and the 'no' vanished off of Byleth's lips before she could say it. 

"Okay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience- next chapter guaranteed fluffier and sooner!


	6. Garland Moon

Paperwork for this week:

-Expense reports: Blacksmith, armorer, merchants, shady merchants, and hired battalions   
\- Student reports: Updated curriculum, training regimens, status updates, updated stable rota, updated gardening rota, updated sky patrol rota  
\- After action reports: Casualties (luckily none), injuries (Minor), supplies used (So many vulneraries)   
-Monastery reports: updated choir roster  
~~-Various Seteth Nonsense~~

Where. in the Goddess's Name. Was Seteth. Because in Byleth's opinion, it demonstrated some nerve to ask her to go and find out information about thieves in the area, and then disappear, because if he WANTED this information then one would think that he'd make himself easier to find. He didn't seem to be **anywhere.** Not the library, not the stables, not the main hall, not his offices. 

_It's too bad you can't just leave the paperwork on his desk._

Not with how tightly he kept the doors locked, anyway. She was raised by mercenaries, not thieves- lockpicking wasn't in her roster of skills.

 _Maybe you could get one of your students to do it. How hard could it be to boost one of them through the window?_

I- actually, she thought, that didn't sound like the worst idea. One of the girls would be a better choice, due to being smaller and lighter, and overall quieter, in the case of her class. Bernardetta was the right size, but would either pass out from fright in the office or start screaming. Edelgard was too risky, as the house leader. Petra could probably do it, if it came to it- small and fast enough, and with enough nerve. 

_Heads up_ Sothis warned- The train of thought of 'who would be able to successfully break into Seteth's office' was engaging enough that Byleth very nearly ended up barreling through Dorothea's conversation with one of the Chapel Guards. She'd heard that Dorothea was going around with one of them, but... was that the same one as last week? About the same height, sure, but Byleth could have sworn that the guard last week was blond, not a brunette- and it seemed like this was the tail end of the conversation anyway, as Dorothea made eye contact with her professor and a look of unaccountable guilt crossed her face.

"Ah... Hello, professor." She said, smoothing her skirts, adjusting her hat, trying to get herself back into a proper shape.

"That's a different guy than I saw you with last week." It wasn't a statement, but a question. A very flat question.

Dorothea immediately shifted to the defense. "Look, I know what I'm doing. My good looks aren't going to last forever, and I need to plan for my future before I have nothing left. You might consider the same thing, Professor. Your looks- and you're gorgeous- won't last forever."

 _Hear that? She thinks you're Gorgeous._ Sothis teased. Byleth shook her head a tiny bit- now was not the time for the voice in her head to start mocking her again. "I always banked on being able to hit things really well. Or teaching, now that I'm here." she said, holding the brick of paperwork closer to her. 

Dorothea smiled ruefully. "Would that we could all be so certain in our plans. Anyway, I'm not just playing games with these boys; I have my future to think of." Her eyes took on a sudden hard glint. "You don't have any right to object. I need to find a good partner here at the academy. One who can take care of me for the rest of my life."

"Do what you will." An unspoken 'it's your funeral' hung in the air, but Dorothea chose to ignore it as her eyes brightened again.

"I'm glad you understand, Professor. As long as you're not just saying that, that is. Not everyone understands the importance of taking the initiative while you're still in your prime." She paused a moment, then flipped her hair back over her shoulders. "I do value your opinion, Professor, but please don't go interfering with my plans." Her smile went from pleasant to wicked in the space of a heartbeat. "Unless, of course, you'd like to take care of me in my old age? Wouldn't that be something?"

The image flashed before her eyes in a quick burst- Dorothea's smiles, just for her, on a homestead in the fields of Adrestia or in the streets of Enbarr, and the response escaped, uncontainable. "Okay." Byleth responded, then immediately fought back the urge to hide her face in her palms. _Flirt back! This is not the time to hide like a coward!_ Sothis encouraged.

Dorothea blinked a few times in surprise. "You're not...Serious, are you? I was just teasing a little. Did you really just consider spending your whole life with me?" She leaned in close, her voice going quiet. "The thought hadn't crossed my mind before, but come to think of it, that might sound pretty nice." She leaned back and giggled. "Hold on a second... is that a **smile?"**

Byleth paused, her face frozen in an unfamiliar position.

"Oh, goodness, I think it is! Petra, come here a second, I need witnesses." Dorothea said, grabbing the passing Petra by the elbow. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"I am... seeing the Professor? Dorothea, are you thinking something is wrong with my eyesight?" Petra's voice lifted with the unspoken question of 'is this a Fodlan thing?'

"Ha!" Dorothea pumped her free hand in victory. "Come on, Petra, we need to go find Sylvain. He owes me five gold- I **told** him that I'd get the professor to smile first. See you in class, Professor!" Dorothea dashed off, Petra following with an air of puzzlement.

Byleth gently touched one hand to her face- cheeks pulled back, lips upturned, it did appear that she was smiling.

 _See? She was flirting with you, you should have flirted back, dummy!_ Sothis hissed in her head. Byleth turned back down the stairs, walking quickly, hoping that nobody overheard as she whispered back. "She wasn't flirting with me. She was just messing with me. Trying to get a reaction. Anyway, she's my student and you can't flirt with students. Also, I can't flirt." People's heads turned to see who was whispering. She turned down a side path between the bushes before continuing. "Now I'm talking to you out loud. Gives off a terrible impression. Doesn't look stable." 

"Something seems unstable, Professor?" Someone said from behind. 

Oh, you can warn me that I'm about to interrupt Dorothea's conversation, but you can't let me know that Seteth is behind me? she thought, but Sothis had gone silent again- either through belligerence or she'd simply gone back to sleep mid-conversation. It wouldn't have been the first time. "Just thinking out loud." Byleth said, then held the portfolio out. "The paperwork you wanted."

Seteth said nothing, instead paging through the portfolio paper by paper, carefully scanning each one. "These are... excellently done." He said, begrudgingly. He'd clearly had a lecture on paperwork ready to go, and no opportunity to dole it out. "Did you find out anything about the-" 

"They're operating out of Conland Tower." Byleth said. 

"...I see." He paused for a few moments. "Well, I believe that's everything. The next time you speak to your students, however, do remind them about proper conduct on Monastery grounds- Dorothea and Petra nearly ran me over on my way to speak to you." Seteth finished, and walked away without a further 'good day' on his part. 

Byleth gave a quick look around, making sure that neither students nor staff, nor intrusive voices in her head, were around, before leaning against the stone wall and rubbing her temples in an attempt to make this headache retreat. 

These people things were **complicated.**


	7. Blue Sea Moon

TEA PARTY TOPICS

On a scrap of paper, tucked into the back of Byleth's Journal:

Things D. seems to like:

-Classes  
\- handsome guards?  
\- Seems to like hearing about my past???  
 ~~-politics~~  
  


_Look, child, you have a tea set now, and the other professors have openly recommended that you get to know your students better. It's going to be fine!_ Sothis had insisted, and had worn Byleth down to the point where she had actually done it- asked Dorothea to tea. 

Tea time had been going... well, it had been going, as far as Byleth could tell. (It is a beautiful day in Garrag Mach, and you are a Horrible Tea) Dorothea had liked the tea, and then Byleth mentioned politics and the atmosphere had dropped with an audible thunk. 

"It's... not something that I've really developed an informed opinion on, Professor." Dorothea said, taking a long sip of her apple tea and avoiding Byleth's gaze. 

For lack of any better ideas, Byleth also started drinking her tea and staring in the opposite direction, staring very hard at the corner of the table. 

_Quick, all you have to do is turn back the clock a little bit!_ Sothis cheered, clearly enthused at the prospect of re-doing the conversation. ****

Okay, hold on a second. If I do that, all she's going to see is her professor suddenly turning pale and sweaty for no good reason. She's going to think I've been poisoned. At best, she's going to think that someone poisoned me and that is absolutely going to ruin this tea get together. At worst, she's going to think I've been poisoned, and then word is going to get back to Seteth, and he's going to think that I was trying to poison Dorothea because he still thinks that I'm pure evil. And do you know what they do to professors who they think are trying to harm the students?

_What?_ Sothis asked with interest.

I have no idea, but it probably involves execution. As a starter.

No, it would be much better to try and rescue this tea party and ideally have future tea parties because it's hardly like Dorothea was going to stop being her student one of these days. Anything was better than suddenly appearing poisoned.

"Professor?" Dorothea asked, gently waving her hand in front of Byleth's face. "Has anyone ever told you that you're hard to read?"

Shit.

"Yes." She said, then forced herself to elaborate. "I'm not good at...people."

"Oh, nonsense, Professor." Dorothea said, laying her hand on Byleth's for a moment, quick and friendly. "It's like you keep saying to us in class, after all- being inexperienced isn't the same as lacking talent at something. How about this- you tell me a story from your mercenary days, and I'll tell you one from the opera?"

"I... wouldn't know where to start." It's not quite a stutter, but it's close, and Byleth is certain that she shouldn't still feel the heat and pressure of Dorothea's hand this long after she's removed it.

"Hardly a problem. I've had years of practice at getting people to talk about themselves. Here's one that I've been curious about- what's with your left knee?"

Byleth frowned. "My left knee?"

"Yeah! You've always got the armored piece on just your left knee. There has to be a reason why." Dorothea said, then took an overlong sip of her tea, clearly waiting for Byleth to pick up the conversational thread.

"Oh. A few years back Jeralt's company was hired to escort a caravan from the north of the Leicester alliance down to Derdriu. We were jumped by another mercenary company, hired by some rival noble. Leicester is known for their archers, and they took down our only healer first. That's how we knew we were dealing with people who knew what they were doing, instead of some potatoes looking for quick gold. One of them outfought me and took out my knee. After we won, Jeralt and Otis patched me up as best they could, but our healer was dead. We couldn't get it properly healed until we actually reached Derdriu. It never healed quite right, so it's a weak spot." Byleth took a sip of tea, amazed at the amount of talking she'd actually gotten out at once. "Don't tell Hubert about the knee thing. If he wants to know my weak points, he'll need to put in the work himself."

Dorothea choked on her tea in laughter. "Professor! I didn't know you could joke."

"I can't." She ignored Sothis smacking her forehead in frustration. "I have a specific question about the opera."

Dorothea folded her hands and rested her chin on them, and smiled a feline smile. "That depends on the question."

"Manuela mentioned someone gambling away an entire production. One of your first operas. Could you...expand on that?"

"Oh, **that** story. Manuela loves referencing that one. " Dorothea cleared her throat. "When I was very first introduced into the Mittelfrank Opera, one of our major patrons was one Duke Bergliez. He was distantly related to Caspar, actually, and if you can imagine Caspar but old, and very enthusiastic about the opera, you'd have a good picture of our duke. Now, Duke Bergliez was a lovely man, terribly devoted to his wife and daughters, but I've never met a nobleman without at least one major vice. His major vice was card games, which would have been fine if he had either been good at them, or smart enough to quit betting on them, but he was neither. About a week before the premiere, the Duke was at one of the largest galas of the year, and he was at the card table. It was bad enough that he was, as I said, bad at cards, but it was made so much worse because of the other people at the table. Manuela was one of them, and this was Manuela at the very top of her career- people were lining up just to have her so much as smile at them, much less anything else. The other was a Count- I've forgotten his name- who, like everyone else at the gala, was looking to impress Manuela. The cards are dealt, the Count looks at his cards and says "this is such an unbeatable hand, I'm going to bet my summer home on it!" Nearly everyone else folds, but not Duke Bergliez. Instead, he goes "I can tell you're bluffing a mile wide, and I'm willing to bet an entire opera on it!"" 

"What." Byleth's tea remained untouched on the table, rapidly cooling and utterly forgotten. 

Dorothea placed a hand over her heart. "I couldn't make this up if I tried. Of course, Manuela tried to talk him out of it, but it was too late- the dealer turned over the last card, and the Count hadn't been bluffing at all. His hand was literally unbeatable, and to top it off Duke Bergliez only had a high card, so not only had he lost, but lost embarrassingly. 

Word got around the troupe immediately, and we didn't think anything would really come of it. The more naive among us hoped that the nobles would just forget the whole thing, and those of us who knew nobles better just thought that the coin from our production would be going into a different pocket than we'd planned. Even that turned out to be wishful thinking, though. 

We came in for our first dress rehearsal the next day, and all the sets were completely gone, down to the last nail and flake of paint. Little Meg just burst into hysterics, our lead tenor Wilhelm started cursing up a storm, and all I could do was stand there utterly gobsmacked for a good, oh, half hour or so until Manuela came in, utterly hung over, and she came up to me and asked, "Dorothea, darling, are we in the wrong theater?" and after she asked that it was like I could see the alcohol just drop out of her system, and she looked at me and said, "Wait, I see what happened."" 

"Did you get your sets back?"

"Oh, yes, but it took a lot of... Manuela's interpersonal skills, as it were. She went immediately to the Count's villa, and I don't know with specifics what went on there, but the Count wouldn't appear in public for a good six months after that. The word was that his left hand was never quite the same. Plus, on top of that, Duke Bergliez was **one** of our major backers, but he wasn't the only one. Nobles will pretend to forget a lot, but they'll never forget anyone who threatens their incomes, and the Count was frozen out of high society so badly that the rumor was he fully gave up his title. Duke Bergliez experienced some blowback too, as one might expect, but he fronted all the money to rebuild our sets in time for the premiere, which went a long way to restoring him back into society's good graces, as well as our own." Dorothea took a sip of her tea, ignoring how it had gone stone cold. "Of course, that's not the most ridiculous story that came out of my time in the opera. But, it's getting late, and I do have things I'm scheduled for." 

"Right, Hanneman's lecture." Byleth said, checking the time. "I shouldn't keep you for much longer." 

"I suppose if you want any more Opera stories, you'll just have to invite me to tea again, Professor." 

Byleth sat stunned long enough for Sothis to whisper _Say something!_ in the back of her mind. "I... Yes, I will." 

Dorothea grabbed her school bag and bounced out of the garden at a quick pace, oblivious to Byleth watching her go. Byleth herself, however, still had a few minutes, and so pulled a list out of her pocket, a small scrap of to-do's that she intended to fully copy down later. 

-Return pillow to Linhardt  
-Remind Linhardt that there are better places to nap than on the ground  
-Return crest book to Hanneman  
-Meeting on the 9th with Seteth re: Curriculum

and added in one more thing, penciling it in small, neat handwriting on the side. 

-Tea with Dorothea (again) check schedule. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay- real life took precedence for a bit. Next chapter should be out before 2021.


End file.
